What Is A Fibromyalgia Day Like?
A day in the life with Fibromyalgia is difficult to comprehend if you are healthy. A majority of healthy people have a difficult time comprehending the struggles of a Fibromyalgia World.
Here is my example of what my Fibromyalgia day like:
I wake up at 8:30 A.M., my legs, back and head feel as if they are glued to the bed. I have just slept 9 1/2 hours. I pop my morning medications.
I try to fight the exhausted feeling of being glued to my bed and I am finally able to drag my exhausted body out of bed around 10:00 A.M.
I brush my teeth, drink a couple small cups of water and think about coffee.
I am still so tired.
I make it downstairs to sit around 10:15 ish and think about coffee. I sit in my chair stare at the walls or maybe my iPad.
It is almost 11:00 A.M. and I have finally make my cup of coffee.
It is now noon and I think about all the things I should do. Overwhelmed doing nothing makes the most sense. Making the decision to do nothing causes me anxiety and to be overwhelmed. I seriously feel like I am very busy making a decision that I am to tired to even make the decision to do nothing.
By 12:30 PM I am hungry but the food in the pantry is limited. My husband has done his best to keep a stocked pantry but I do not feel like I have the energy to open a can of tuna. I then laugh out loud as I recall how I tell my girls they can make a meal from food in the pantry. I am too tired to make anything. I settle on an apple and then another apple.
My phone rings and I do not answer the phone I am just too spent to talk. I then realize I have to pick up my daughter from school in a couple of hours and I should rest. Who knows, maybe I can sleep. My body throbs, I am exhausted but not sleepy. I can not sleep. I decide to lay on a heating pad hoping the heat will comfort my muscles.
As I lie on heating pad and watch T.V. The channels usually all seem the same but I take note of all the commercials. I wonder how Seniors can have so much energy to enjoy a cruise, I know the name of many of the advertised medications and I question, why is there such a lack of diversity among the actors in medical adverstising?
It is a little after 2:00 P.M. when the door bell rings. I decide not to answer the door but the door bell rings again. I think about whether I should answer the door. The thought of robbers resonates in my mind. There have been robbers in our neighborhood targeting homes during the day and I certainly did not want to be robbed.
I wait out my options about being robbed and I decide to stay on the couch. I decide if I hear a window break I will move. I realize this scenario sounds odd, a bit crazed but that is how fatigued and brain fogged I felt. Common sense is not even a choice.
I look at the clock and the time has seemed to spin. It is almost 3:00 P.M and I need to make my six block journey to my daughter’s school. (Yes, I have a car- but, I am that exhausted!) I dread the thought of departing with my heating pad to pick up my daughter.
The thought of picking up my daughter from school causes me to become stressed and overwhelmed. I love my daughter to the moon and back plus a gillion (gillion, more than infinity our made up word for more than infinity)
I am struggle with how to push myself through the day and the thought of placing on my happy/well actress mask drives my to tears. I wear this mask because I do not always want to be the sick and tired mom around my daughter so I try to fake well.
Faking well is a true talent. When I need to fake well, I:
- Offer several low-cost take out places as a dinner option
- I ask my children open-ended questions
- Smile as they answer
- Suggest we watch a television show together
- If asked, I have a short, truthful but fun summaries of my day.
- I try to laugh. Laughter is good.
My children are upstairs and getting ready for bed by 8:30 P.M.
My husband is an early riser so he is usually ahead of our children on the sleep/ wake cycle.
After dinner I casually mention to my husband that I am a bit tired and he replies his canned response,” You should go to bed early tonight.”
I am then upset with myself that I even conveyed my feelings to him. The entire play, push, repeat, play, push, repeat cycle begins as I tried to convey to him that I am fatigued tired, not sleepy tired. Even after all these years I do not think he understands the difference. My husband has always been healthy. Until your chronically ill you just do not get it. I use to not get it.
It is 9:30 P.M. My husband and children are asleep upstairs and I am relieved the night is now mine. I can take off my actress mask and truly reflect.
I realize as I sit on the couch that once again my day has slipped away but as night begins my Fibro Fog layers start to thin.
I have windows of clarity as my Fibro layers dissolve. I realize I look fine but I need help, I need answers and I need a cure for my Fibromyalgia.
So on to Dr. Google I scroll. I read, I bookmark, I read, I question and I bookmark.
As I read my Dr Google information I realize it Is late, 11:00 P.M. Sadly, it is in the late hours of the night that I feel the most awake. I am sure my Pineal Gland ( controls wake/sleep cycle) no longer functions properly. The Pineal Gland is located next to the Pituitary Gland. I feel like my entire endocrine system is in chaos.
It is after 12:00 A.M.and as my night closes I hope my new day breaks the rinse, repeat cycle of my Fibromyalgia world.
You have just read what a Fibromyalgia day is like in my HypoGal World.
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