What Color Are You Today?
Towards the end of the day, my youngest daughter and I often ask each other, what color was your day today? And Why?
This evening answer to, What color are you today? screams. Sadly, I am the only one able to hear the echo within the empty walls of my home. I am Blue.
Today, I feel like I am a hard, sharp Blue, the blue that is not Midnight, Navy, Cobalt or Sky Blue. I am the type of Blue that resonates from your heart as you realize your children are using their wings to explore the new chapters in their life.
The blue colored box above this HypoGal Blog post best expresses the heaviness of my heart. Of the blue there is a burst of silver swirls that try’s to sparkle. The unbalanced, downward silver circular motion represents my life’s unpredictability as my journey of parenting young children ends.
The color Blue expresses how a mother feels when she was absent most her children’s youth. I may have been there physically, but my Fibro Brain was just trying to get through the moments. I am thankful for moments I shared with my girls, just blue. And, I will alway reflect on today’s color with bittersweet emotions and hope for more sparkles.
I feel a majority of chronically ill mothers can relate to the symbolism of the color blue with silver bursts. A chronically ill mother with young children not only has to try to balance their world but balance motherhood. For me, the role has overwhelmed me with a range of mixed emotions, anxiety, worry, concern, joy and unconditional love.
Unlike motherhood, I did not sign up for a chronic illness. No one does. But, It Is What It Is. To make my world sparkle brighter, I try to follow a valuable lesson: “Good Enough.”
So, What Color Are You Today?
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